More moments

The more I write about my students, the more I discover that I have very many favorites. Another of my favorites is Candy, who looks like a pixie, is alarmingly badly behaved and who speaks the worst English of any of my Pre-Step (kindergarten) students. Usually I only like the kids who are badly behaved and smart. But Candy is just so cute.

She has absolutely no English comprehension and I am convinced it is because she is too cute to repermand. I don't know how she does it. Whenever anything in English is said to her, she responds with a perfect, unaccented, "Yes." She says this sweeter than you can even imagine. Hummingbirds and baby's breathe hang on her words. It is adorable. But she has no idea what she is saying yes to. She never does. It's my party trick actually.

I will call one of the Korean teachers and call over Candy. Like the genius trickster I am, I start small. "Candy, do you want to never play or eat again?" And she will look very sincere and say sweetly, "Yes."

Following success with the small scale, I shoot for the moon with my next query. "Candy, do you hate fun, do you possess complete disdain for all that is harmonic and delightful? Do you hate ice cream and sunshine and magical moments of mystery?" She will look thoughtful for a second, even more sincere somehow and reply in her perfect, unaccented solitary word of English. "Yes!"

Another good trick I play on my lower level students is to write the words fruit and flute next to each other and try to have them read and pronounce the distinction. This is one of the best things to do with a Korean child.

My student June (mentioned in the last post) has learned, to his initial consternation and current triumph that the words gimchi, hagwon (the Korean name for academy) and Mugeo-Dong (mugeo is the name of the district I live in and dong is the Korean word for district) are all acceptable words to use in English class. So basically, this is all he ever says, usually in tandem, sometimes with a little dance.

When I ask him if he hit Alien (I named this kid), he will inform me, "Teacher no! Gimchi, hagwon, Mugeo-Dong!" When I tell him things, like not to wear his shoes in class, I have taken to wording it in terms of his catch phrase, in the following manner: "Mr. June! Gimchi, hagwon, Mugeo-Dong okay! But shoes no! Okay?" He likes this. I often get a thumbs up for it. And occasionally he will take off his shoes.

It's even better though when he wants to tell me something and is having a hard time expressing it. Then I get to have fun.

Today for example, June put his hand up and yells, "Teacher!"

Me, "Yes, Mr. June?"

June, slowly, hesitating, "Teacher, June is...."

Me, "June is.....gimchi?"

June, "Teacher no!!!!"

Me: "Okay. June is hagwon? June is Mugeo-Dong?"

June, more frusterated and thus at a higher pitch, "Oh teacher no!"

Silence while he thinks.

Finally, June, "June is Sunday basketball."

Obviously June wants to tell me that he played basketball on Sunday. But now there will be a little educational revenge for Ari Teacher.

Me, with a little obnoxious, sing-song banter in my voice, "June is Sunday?"

The class laughs.

June, wringing his hands in disbelief and distorting his features in horror, "Teacher! NO!"

Me, with an air of victory, "June is basketball?"

I walk over to June and mime bouncing him like a basketball.

The class is in hysterics. June is too.

"Teacher! Ari Teacher! No! No! June is basketball no! June is Sunday no!" he informs me.

I return to my desk and sit, facing the class, "Okay. June is what?"

Silence. Suspense. Everybody thinks about what June is. I let them do it for a while...

And then....I leap from my seat and raise a hand in victory as I cry out, delighted, "June is gimchi, hagwon, Mugeo-Dong!" I even do the same little dance he does.

The class basically dies in appreciation, definitively aware that nothing in English class or in any class, or in life itself for that matter, would ever top this moment.